Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
