I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
