my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
