In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
