I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
