Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
