We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
