"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
