sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
