I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
