A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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