i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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