you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
