this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
