i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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