I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
