Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
