I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Why is your signature on my underwear?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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