He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
