Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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