If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
