does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
