can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
