I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
