You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
