Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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