Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
