Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Alive.
So much puke
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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