i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
