dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
