I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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