when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
