I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have feelings that need drinking.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
