her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
