Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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