There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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