He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
