Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
