I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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