I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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