she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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