So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
