Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
