You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
