On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
