Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
