I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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