Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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