i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
