Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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