Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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