this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
