the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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